My Belated Birthday Present....

Sigh.. I fall sick for the pass few days. Having flu and sorethroat. The flu is killing me! I can't breathe!!! Today, after work, follow my brother to get movie tickets for tonight. Then my galfriend asked me out for a drink and I went back to the shopping mall again to have a drink at Coffee Bean. I got a beautiful blouse from my dear friends and I love it so much! Thanks Cyn, Liz and Carol. Muacks...

We catch up and updates with each other. Didn't know time flies so fast. Went back home and take a quick shower because my cousin came to my place to pick us up for dinner. Had a dinner at Windmill and I was like sneezing like crazy! My bro, his girlfriend and Sonia gave me a bag. 3 in 1 bag. Can make it as a short handbag, sling bag as well as pouch! Cool or what? My favorite Blue color somemore..

Went to the mall again to catch our movie at 10.10pm. The movie called "300". This show, not a bad story line but it's kinda brutal. The whole show is like killing all the time. With the hand got chopped off, head got chopped off and etc, etc, etc. Hahahahaha... My sleepy eyes also alert already.

After the show, we headed to mamak stall and we still talked about the movie and some other issues. Although it's kinda simple outing but I had so much fun talking and joking as well as sniffing and sneezing all the time. Hahahaha... Weekend is ending soon and today is already Sunday! Tomorrow is working day and the days goes on and on and on with the same thing. Hahahaha...

I think I better get some rest coz I realised I going to have eyebag soon and I haven't been sleeping well since Chinese New Year. Everyday making myself so tired so that I won't wake up in the middle of the night but in the end never get enough sleep till I got this sickness!

This year I got quite a some of beautiful present and I love it so much till I almost in tears. Hehehehe.. Thanks everyone. Muacks...

Till next time...

A Single Life Celebration! =D

Oh My GOSH!!!! I'm feel so old ad... SOb SOb~! Having a celebration at my office. And my colleagues gave me some presents and I LOVE it! When I read their card, it makes me cry and I did cried and got emo on my birthday! Hahahaha... Moreover, that day also wasn't a happy day and I suddenly felt this year kinda different after 6yrs without Him.

Anyway, thanks to Trey, we went to Pure Bar. Was suppose to be checking the DJ out then cioaz but in the end we are there till almost 2am. Haahaha... Met some guys and they came to us and get to know us more. Hahaha.. The guy I met was my ex's friend and he doesn't believe that I'm SINGLE! Hahaha.. I asked him why he doesn't believe that I'm single? He answered me that I'm decent and a good girl. What is that suppose to mean?

I told him that it doesn't mean a decent and good girl can't be single. Moreover, some people don't appreciate me. =P He was flirting with me. Asking my number and also asking me out in a few days! Hahahaha... Anyway, I don't put any hope in it nor I'm looking forward to start a new relationship soon. Just as friend. Don't worry, my friends who are reading this and worried I will do something stupid. I'm aware what is going on and I'm just enjoying my life right now. =D

We were enjoying the live band there and then was at downstairs checking out the new DJ. It was not a bad day for me. I thought I was going to rot at home doing nothing but just online. Phew.. Thanks to Trey again. Hahaha.. Without her, I will be depressed at home. Hahaha..

This is how I spend my 25th birthday and I never spend a single thing! Hahahaha... COol or what? Got free drinks somemore... perghhh... We will see what happened next year.. Happy Birthday TO ME!!!!!!! =X

What Goes Around, Comes Around....

It has been less than a month ever since we broke up and I had known some news that he is going out with a malay gal. Wow! Not a surprise after all. And guess what? I know the gal and I respect her as an elder sister as well as she gave me advices when he and me have some minor arguements. How more great can it be?

I felt such a betrayed and cheated. He dare to tell me that he is not seeing anyone else and also not flirting around when we broke up. And within a month or should I said, after a week, he brought back the gal to his house in the middle of the night? Wow.. How bizzare can it be? Although I don't see it with my own eyes, eventually people are telling me. It's like news are spreading pretty fast.

When I think back about the 6 years I have been with him, I felt that he mistreated me and hurt me alots! Uncountable!!! Imagine how stupid I am? After all, I now realise that he never did love me for this 6 f***ing years. Will a guy hurt his girlfriend if he love her so much? Talking about engaging, talking about marriage, I felt all this was a plot. It was just a game after all. A game so that I can feel secure and trust him when he can flirt or sleep around with other gals behind my back. Such a JERK!

What did I do wrong to deserve this? I believe I deserve a better treatment!!! And I demand it in my life. I never cheat on him, I never betray him and I never even f***ing sleep around!!!! What the f**k is wrong with his brain?

I will never let myself down anymore. This is his lost. He never appreciate it although I had forgive and go back to him many times. This is it! I had enough of "his-games" already! I ain't wanna suffer, cry and make myself down, when he himself is enjoying his life. Let he, himself destroy his own life from his own hand.

I'm here to "lepas" geram aje... Grrrr!!!!

Radja - Jujur

Duhai kekasih pujaan hatiku
Apakah kau memberiku satu arti
Sedikit rasa yang bisa kumengerti
Bukan sumpah atau janji

(*)Buktikanlah bila kau ada cinta
Setulus hatimu bisa menerima
Sebatas kejujuran yang kau miliki
Bukan sekedar bersama

Reff:Jujurlah padaku bila kau tak lagi cinta
Tinggalkanlah aku
Bila tak mungkin bersama
Jauhi diriku lupakanlah aku
O... Ho... O... Ho...

Jujurlah padaku bila kau tak lagi suka
Tinggalkanlah aku
Bila tak mungkin bersama
Jauhi diriku lupakanlah aku
Selamanya

Kembali ke: (*)

Kembali ke: Reff

Celebration Together..

Last weekend was a double celebration that my friends gave to me and Alison. Although, it's suppose to be a "yam char" session but in the end I know the "plot" my friends are giving to suprise Alison. Hahahaha...

Here's few pictures we took from "Fulltank". Although it is not a very happening but at least we get together and have fun and chat all nite long.

The bunch of "US" in Fulltank to celebrate our Alison and of course me!!!.. Paiseh paiseh!!.. I know the whole surprise.. just imagine that!

Coolest G@ls forever... Woot! Hehehehe... Love ya alot.. muacks..

Oh yeah, we left "FUlltank" kinda early, and the whole of us eventually walked to fun-fair to walk and see. Hahaha.. How great can it be? =P

Can You Feel My World

ni zhi xi huan wo wei xiao
ni jue ding wo de xu yao
wo yao ze me shuo cai hao
wo bu shi wei ni zhi zao

kai xin xiang shi ni zao
la zhu wo wan xia tiao
ai shi piao liang kou hao
tou kuo ni de shi jiao
ni ba wo de xi hao
shui bian shan diao
bian chen ni yao de diao tiao

ni wei wo hao
wo zhi dao wo dou zhi dao
wo de fan nao wo de jiao ao
ni que bu ming liao

zhen yang ai ni cai hao
bi jing hei bao xu yao zi you ben bao..
(bu neng man zu yu yong bao)
(i keep comin back for more)

can you feel my world
zhen shi de wo mei ban fa wei zhao
can you take my hands
zhen chen ni hui gan jue dao

can you feel my world
zhen shi de wo mei ban fa wei zhao
bin bu xiang tao hao
ni cai jue de wo zhong yao(wo yi dian dou bu zhong yao)

ni zhi yao wo you li mao
qi ta jia zhuang gan bu dao
wo yao ze me shuo cai hao
tang wo de qing xu di chao

rap-
i keep on coming back for more yo
ri ri ye ye wo bi zhe shuang yan qi dao
wei she me zhi you wo de ying yue neng ko rang wo yi kao
wo zhi dao wo de shi jie yi jing bian de yue lai yue xiao
bao bu tiao tao bu liao
zhe me mian dai zhe wei xiao
zhe me mian dui zhe ni cai hao
zhe me yan lei dou zai tiao
zhe me zhui du zhe hao yan su
zhe bu shi ku zhe jiu hao
she me xuan lu zai wo de nao dai yi zhi zhuan yi zhi rao
yi zhi li yi zhi cheng ze wo
zai yi ci dao gao
bang zhu wo

Chinese New Year 2007

Here's some pictures I took during the Chinese New Year.. It's not much but it's a memorable day for me. With all my uncles, aunties and cousins. Missed them suddenly. Sob Sob...


A home-made decoration that i had done to my house. Hehehe... 9 fishes.. means luck luck luck.. (I think...I simply say wan..)







Another place where I decorate.. nice nice? Hehehehe.. My master piece ok? Please comment sikit... I decorate this all last minute during the eve. Sigh...




Gone the Dog year... Welcome the Pig year.. Hehehe... Dog year wasn't a good year for me and I hope that the pig year will give me more luck, good health, wealth and of course, LOVE!!!! =P







Oooo... First day of Chinese New Year, my door open so widely to usher the new year. Gong Xi! Gong Xi! Gong Xi ni ya!! Happy New Year.... Ang Pau na lai...




Here is all my uncles and aunties... makan-makan... borak-borak... ooo... nice to see and hear all of them laughing and chit-chatting. So nice...





My dearest brother and cousin, Sonia..
Miss them so much.. Muacks muacks..



One Big Happy Family.... The Lim's Family.. Wops.. there are 3 missing persons. Two were outstation... the other one fell sick on that day. Too bad.. =(

Caught Him!!! Hahaha...

Gamble time!!!! Early in the morning already gamble. Sigh... but it was fun with
all the laughters and the big smile on their faces even the "sick" person also "bersemangat"!

"God of Gamble is here!!! Look at my cards.. Nice right? Money money!!!", said by my brother.

Banker win alot siot!!!

"I also God of Gamble!!!"*teeheeee*, Sonia grinned with her white "colgate" smile. =P

Ok people... See you next year in 2008! Muacks.. Love you all.

Why Should I Care At All..

For a week, I have been going out everynight with my friends. No matter girls or boys. Drinking, laughing, dancing, chit-chatting and stay up late at night. I have never know that I will be so happy around with them.

Hmm... let me tell more or less about my chinese new year week. Drinking almost everyday... ( I must have beer belly already) 1st night went to Peppermint Bistro because Pure Bar was kinda packed. Got to know few guy friends there too but it was ok cuz the crowd there wasn't so happening. The next day, went to Pure Bar with my gal friends and also some guy friends they brought along. Dancing all night long till got drunk and nearly vomitted. That night I was back so late. Hahaha...

Then, drink again at some cafe with few friends. Was like table hopping coz met few friends here and there. Almost smoke due to stress and depression but I get to take a few puffs. Hehehe... On the weekend, my gal friend wanna check the new Bar out. We went to Sunshine Bar and the place was like not that bad compare to Pure Bar. Not so hot and smokey like Pure. The song there was also our kind of songs. So it's a 3 1/2 thumbs up over 5. But there's not much tables and the people there are moslty adults. You won't get to see all "kiddos" like what you see at Pure. With the same group of guys and gals, we really had so much fun! Play a game, and who lose have to drink.

For the first time, we order so much of beers! But the ladies have free flow of drinks. I drank 4 glasses of tequilla. Whoah~!!.. Liquors + Beers = High~! So High~!!!! But it was a great day!! I will love to join them again. Hahaha..

Last night, went to Sunshine Bar again with my friends. I never thought that I can be attractive or can flirt around. Didn't realise that I gave away my number to a guy there. Hahaha.. Altho he spoke to me in chinese, I was just smiling all the way nevertheless didn't get to know what he is talking about. But I think he knows that I cant understand Chinese, he spoke to me in English but not that fluent. It's ok, at least I get to make new friends. At this time of situation, I love gaining attention from guys. Dance with them, drink with them and this was the advantages for me to meet new people.

Hence, the chinese new year is going to over soon, but next weekend still have party with another bunch of friends. Hahaha.. I think I going to get addicted soon.

Happy Piggy New Year~!

Happy Chinese New Year!!! I want to take this opportunity to wish all my fellows friends a Happy prosperous New Year. This is goig to be my new beginning of life. I hope I can overcome my fear and weaknesses. I hope I will be strong to acheive something that I want as well to forget the "past". And I want to find a new love of my life in this "chu chu" new year! muacks..

It has been 4 days since we never touched each other; never said those sweet things; no "love you"; no calls; no messages. It's like I'm a stranger to him. I know that he is having his mood swings for these pass few days. We never get to see each other face to face. When I was in his work place, it's like he doesn't know I'm there or I'm exist. It hurts me deeply for his action.

I don't know what is wrong with him. I don't know what did I do wrong this time. I don't know whether he has lost interest in me. Is he thinking of me? He told me he is angry of himself. I don't know what is he angry about. I just wish that he can share his problems with me. Why should he tell me? Because I'm his current girlfriend and I will be there for him? Maybe I might be wrong, because he might think in different way.

All I know that he is not himself lately, and he have been hiding something from me coz I know when he is telling me the truth or not. But I chose to believe him altho I have the urge of curiousity to know why is he lying to me. But deep inside his heart, I know he is trying to protect me as well as himself. Or maybe he want to be selfish and don't want other people to blame him for his action? (Maybe I'm wrong?)

There's lots of reasons but the only true reasons are from him if he can speak out of his mind.

Please babey.. do not keep to yourself. It will torture you deep in your heart, and your soul. If I ever did wrong, I apologize but if you have other problems, don't be hesistate to tell me coz I will lend you my shoulder and I promise you I will listen only. If the above is not the reasons; and IF the other reasons is that you like someone else, I will back off in your life. Love you always. Muacks

On the Valentine's Day

Samson - Kenangan Terindah

aku yang lemah tanpamu

aku yang rentan karena

cinta yang kau hilang darimu

yang mampu menyanjungku
selama mata terbuka

sampai jantung tak berdetak

selama itu pun aku

mampu tuk mengenangmu

darimu….

kutemukan hidupku

bagiku…..

kaulah cinta sejati…

reff.

bila yang tertulis untukku

adalah yang terbaik untukmu

kan kujadikan kau kenangan

yang terindah dalam hidupku

namun takkan mudah bagiku

meninggalkan jejak hidupku

yang tlah terukir abadi

sebagai kenangan yang terindah

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This song have been playing in my head for a very long time. I tought it was a beautiful song till I watched the video clip. When I watched it, it "touched" me and I cried. When I sing it out loud, I felt so touched and it really make me cry.

Today is a Valentine's Day and I would love to wish to everyone that I love dearly a Happy Valentine's Day to you guys out there. Thank you for all the love that you have given to me no matter it's "love-love" or "friendship-love" but I appreciate it the most. Love you guys so much. Muacks...

(P/s: this is for everyone that knows me no matter guy or gal; old or young; ugly or beautiful; short or tall =p)

Anyway, nothing special to celebrate this special occasion and this is because my dearest friends are not around and so does my love one. Everyone seemed to be busy in their life. And I can feel the loneliness in me now but yet I will be strong to go thru this emotional moments. Hehehe...

Missing You...

When he messaged me, suddenly I felt like crying. It's like a long time ago where he was studying out of his hometown. Missing him so badly. Wondering what he do; wondering whether did he drink lots of water or not; wondering did he bring his tooth brush; or even his cleanser. Sigh.. I always think of other people but never think of myself. It's like the feeling of loosing him. Why do I miss him so much when he is just away for 2 days? Never get to celebrate Valentine's Day for him. Gonna give him surprises, and I hope he will love it. I scared he won't like it coz he may have high expectations?

A Trip to K.L.

2 days and 1 night trip to K.L. Although it's only a short trip, but to me it's the most happy moment for me. I went up with him and his family. They treat me good.

The reason for this trip is to go for shopping for chinese new year. I know to everyone, this trip meant nothing but to me it meant alot to me. It's like 24 hours with him and by his side which we hardly got the chance.

Overall, all we did was walked around the big shopping mall to hunt for clothing. Sometimes, teasing each other or making each other angry at a times. Hahahaha...

I felt like when I'm with him all the time, I'm happy. I don't know about him coz he never did express to me how he felt. I know that sometimes he felt moody. I think he got not enough sleep.

Sometimes, I felt that I'm too much too, for pushing him and that I'm such a boring person. I did tried to cheer him up but I failed. I felt so disappointed at myself that I can't make him happy. I feel like I'm clapping with one hand. But neverthless, at last he was happy!!! Hehehehe... It really gave me a big smile at the end of the day. I don't want to say lots.. cuz I don't wanna think too much.. hahaha..I think he is tired cuz he never sleep well. Now, I'm feeling tired ad. Zzz.. Wanna get some sleep and rest my aching leg cuz tomorrow need to go to work.. =(

Thanks babey, for the weekend. It meant alot to me. Love ya. Muacks...

Tai Shen Tau!!!! Gong Xi! Gong Xi!!!!..Ang Pau Na Lai..

*Change Topic*

Chinese New Year is around the corner. I'm so busy preparing my decoration items to decorate my house. As usual, every year I'm always in-charge but it's ok, I love t beautif-ied my house with lots lots of red red deco. Hehehe..

There's no mood for new year like previous time. This year new year will be a little different. Lesser place to visit as in some of my relative not gonna celebrate because of "funeral". And my cusin who are crazy and a joker is not around because he further his studies in Australia and not coming back for this year Chinese New Year. Sigh..

Well, all my beloved friends and cousins who just recently got their jobs and I would like to congrats them. So, new year is a short time for me where I think I will hardly having fun like last time I used to have. I wish I can go back time where happiness, laughter and joyful season.

Moreover, my company is going to shift and yet I'm going to be really busy shifting things to my new office. Sigh.. What a year! I hope this year will bring me more luck in love, wealth and happiness.. Oh yeah.. I can't forget my health too..

Gong Xi! GOng Xi to everyone! Love ya.. DOn't forget to come my house for new year.. Come after the first day will do or night time! Jack D is waiting for you, here at my place. =P Don't forget Ang pau for me with lotsa money!! =P

Meee... The Stubborn, Fiona =P

I was with my galfriend last nite and she was talking about her new love. She was so happy that she found the person who know how to appreciate her and love her more than her ex. She broke up not long ago and she found her new love in like 3 months. When I heard of her story, I felt the "hit" in me. She was like trying to hint on me that I can also be like her if I'm willingly to let go. I felt that sometimes, but I didn't follow it. I don't want to regret. I know that I had a bad past and I believe that he will change as he promise me. I want to appreciate people around me. =)

I know those who knows me think that I'm stupid and stubborn. Maybe I'm too nice or too in love with him. But I can't help it. If I'm letting him go, that's the time when I think I had enough. I know I'm too patience but don't worry, everyone have their limit in them. I believe in my instinct and I believe people will change. Please... I hope everything is fine. No more "the past" because I'm scared I can't take it anymore and I will disappear before everyone knew it. (I'm not emo!)

I think some people must be thinking that I'm talking nonsense again or advice me this and that. This is my blog. I have the right to speak from my heart where I have noone to turn to. My blog don't talk, it's the place for me to write my heart out and also it listen to me without showing any expression.

Thank you for loving me people. Thank you for being there. It's not that I'm being ignorant. It's Meee.... Stubborn, Fiona.

Pressure...

For the pass few days, I have been not feeling good. I have been thinking alot about my life... everything. It's hard to cope it sometimes. I tend to think nonsense and I felt that my instinct is coming back. I'm afraid now.. I felt like I'm in a total darkness where thee's noone to guide me out. =(

Been crying out loud to make myself relief and tired but my mind is bothering me. Why do I have to feel this way? Why do I have to go thru all this things again? Why I can't have peace of mind? I need a break before I gone mad...

I'm feeling Pressured...

The Past... The Present... The Future...

The Good & The Bad....

When I'm with him, I'm so happy like I'm in a cloud nine. I love him so much that I felt it's only me and him alone. I felt like we are meant for each other. When he is in a good mood, he is like the best guy I ever met. Always try to make me happy and treat me like his real "babey". He is a person with full of characters. A bad-tempered person, egoistic, never listen to people's advice till he need it, Mr. Perfect, Mr. Branded (hehehe), vain-pot, determine, soft-hearted (towards gals), attractive (in a sense), "moderate" sweet-talker. He also can consider "heart-breaker" but he can be a loving, caring, protective person. Oh yeah, he is a person who never mend is words... =P

He is a person who have change my life. He taught me lots of things. Love, reality, and the "headache". I have been going thru thick and thin with him. Been a long time with him, is this how much I understand and know him? I hope so... *to be continue..*

Anti-Polygamy

How will you feel when someone that you loved, love someone else? I was thinking of that from just now. He loved you, but tho he still wants to find someone to love him. I guess this case wasn't rare and it's kinda common in this world now. I read about polygamous few days ago. It's kinda scary (for me) knowing that the person that you love or going to be marry to will end up being with someone else.

I don't really agree with polygamy and that's why lots of women in this world nowadays rather to be a single mother or being single the whole life so that they won't get hurt. I don't want to get hurt too. It's better to love yourself than love your bf or husband whom will cheat on you or have an affair behind your back. Males will never feel the same way how we (females) felt towards them.

We are being so loyal, faithful and care so much for them and yet the males don't appreciate us. Why are the males in this world change till like that? What happened to those males like our parents time? Or our grandparents time when they never dare to find mistress or having affair. Actually I should said "majority" of them don't do that compare to now generations.

Are the women being domestic or being too independent till the male felt lonely and out till they find others? We are humans. We felt the same way how males does (in a way). We are carrying a duty as a woman, a lover, a wife, a mother and a daughter-in-law. Do you think carrying this burden is easy? Try being like us and you guys will know what kind of position we females getting into.

If we, females have the same thinking as the males, I think in this world, everyone have someone else in their life. I'm not talking bout 1 person in your life but more than that. I hope all guys and gals will never change their honesty, truthfully, care, love and also security. If this is so, please do think what will happened to you if that person did the same thing to you as what you did to him/her? "Put your position in that person's shoes" first before you take a step or your action. Be responsible towards your actions and appreciate the person around you before you regret.

I wish everyone the best in your life, future and love-life. Muacks..

" How much you earn is not important.

Women leave men, not because they are unhappy

with what he can provide,

but because they are emotionally unfulfilled."

"Monogamy turns women on.

A sexual liaison with another woman is seen as

the ultimate betrayal and good reason to

finish a relationship."

Life's Journey.... Ended

My life's journey have been ended just like that.... Things change drastically.... It take longer time to heal... Maybe not?