Why Should I Care At All..

For a week, I have been going out everynight with my friends. No matter girls or boys. Drinking, laughing, dancing, chit-chatting and stay up late at night. I have never know that I will be so happy around with them.

Hmm... let me tell more or less about my chinese new year week. Drinking almost everyday... ( I must have beer belly already) 1st night went to Peppermint Bistro because Pure Bar was kinda packed. Got to know few guy friends there too but it was ok cuz the crowd there wasn't so happening. The next day, went to Pure Bar with my gal friends and also some guy friends they brought along. Dancing all night long till got drunk and nearly vomitted. That night I was back so late. Hahaha...

Then, drink again at some cafe with few friends. Was like table hopping coz met few friends here and there. Almost smoke due to stress and depression but I get to take a few puffs. Hehehe... On the weekend, my gal friend wanna check the new Bar out. We went to Sunshine Bar and the place was like not that bad compare to Pure Bar. Not so hot and smokey like Pure. The song there was also our kind of songs. So it's a 3 1/2 thumbs up over 5. But there's not much tables and the people there are moslty adults. You won't get to see all "kiddos" like what you see at Pure. With the same group of guys and gals, we really had so much fun! Play a game, and who lose have to drink.

For the first time, we order so much of beers! But the ladies have free flow of drinks. I drank 4 glasses of tequilla. Whoah~!!.. Liquors + Beers = High~! So High~!!!! But it was a great day!! I will love to join them again. Hahaha..

Last night, went to Sunshine Bar again with my friends. I never thought that I can be attractive or can flirt around. Didn't realise that I gave away my number to a guy there. Hahaha.. Altho he spoke to me in chinese, I was just smiling all the way nevertheless didn't get to know what he is talking about. But I think he knows that I cant understand Chinese, he spoke to me in English but not that fluent. It's ok, at least I get to make new friends. At this time of situation, I love gaining attention from guys. Dance with them, drink with them and this was the advantages for me to meet new people.

Hence, the chinese new year is going to over soon, but next weekend still have party with another bunch of friends. Hahaha.. I think I going to get addicted soon.

Happy Piggy New Year~!

Happy Chinese New Year!!! I want to take this opportunity to wish all my fellows friends a Happy prosperous New Year. This is goig to be my new beginning of life. I hope I can overcome my fear and weaknesses. I hope I will be strong to acheive something that I want as well to forget the "past". And I want to find a new love of my life in this "chu chu" new year! muacks..

It has been 4 days since we never touched each other; never said those sweet things; no "love you"; no calls; no messages. It's like I'm a stranger to him. I know that he is having his mood swings for these pass few days. We never get to see each other face to face. When I was in his work place, it's like he doesn't know I'm there or I'm exist. It hurts me deeply for his action.

I don't know what is wrong with him. I don't know what did I do wrong this time. I don't know whether he has lost interest in me. Is he thinking of me? He told me he is angry of himself. I don't know what is he angry about. I just wish that he can share his problems with me. Why should he tell me? Because I'm his current girlfriend and I will be there for him? Maybe I might be wrong, because he might think in different way.

All I know that he is not himself lately, and he have been hiding something from me coz I know when he is telling me the truth or not. But I chose to believe him altho I have the urge of curiousity to know why is he lying to me. But deep inside his heart, I know he is trying to protect me as well as himself. Or maybe he want to be selfish and don't want other people to blame him for his action? (Maybe I'm wrong?)

There's lots of reasons but the only true reasons are from him if he can speak out of his mind.

Please babey.. do not keep to yourself. It will torture you deep in your heart, and your soul. If I ever did wrong, I apologize but if you have other problems, don't be hesistate to tell me coz I will lend you my shoulder and I promise you I will listen only. If the above is not the reasons; and IF the other reasons is that you like someone else, I will back off in your life. Love you always. Muacks

On the Valentine's Day

Samson - Kenangan Terindah

aku yang lemah tanpamu

aku yang rentan karena

cinta yang kau hilang darimu

yang mampu menyanjungku
selama mata terbuka

sampai jantung tak berdetak

selama itu pun aku

mampu tuk mengenangmu

darimu….

kutemukan hidupku

bagiku…..

kaulah cinta sejati…

reff.

bila yang tertulis untukku

adalah yang terbaik untukmu

kan kujadikan kau kenangan

yang terindah dalam hidupku

namun takkan mudah bagiku

meninggalkan jejak hidupku

yang tlah terukir abadi

sebagai kenangan yang terindah

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This song have been playing in my head for a very long time. I tought it was a beautiful song till I watched the video clip. When I watched it, it "touched" me and I cried. When I sing it out loud, I felt so touched and it really make me cry.

Today is a Valentine's Day and I would love to wish to everyone that I love dearly a Happy Valentine's Day to you guys out there. Thank you for all the love that you have given to me no matter it's "love-love" or "friendship-love" but I appreciate it the most. Love you guys so much. Muacks...

(P/s: this is for everyone that knows me no matter guy or gal; old or young; ugly or beautiful; short or tall =p)

Anyway, nothing special to celebrate this special occasion and this is because my dearest friends are not around and so does my love one. Everyone seemed to be busy in their life. And I can feel the loneliness in me now but yet I will be strong to go thru this emotional moments. Hehehe...

Missing You...

When he messaged me, suddenly I felt like crying. It's like a long time ago where he was studying out of his hometown. Missing him so badly. Wondering what he do; wondering whether did he drink lots of water or not; wondering did he bring his tooth brush; or even his cleanser. Sigh.. I always think of other people but never think of myself. It's like the feeling of loosing him. Why do I miss him so much when he is just away for 2 days? Never get to celebrate Valentine's Day for him. Gonna give him surprises, and I hope he will love it. I scared he won't like it coz he may have high expectations?

A Trip to K.L.

2 days and 1 night trip to K.L. Although it's only a short trip, but to me it's the most happy moment for me. I went up with him and his family. They treat me good.

The reason for this trip is to go for shopping for chinese new year. I know to everyone, this trip meant nothing but to me it meant alot to me. It's like 24 hours with him and by his side which we hardly got the chance.

Overall, all we did was walked around the big shopping mall to hunt for clothing. Sometimes, teasing each other or making each other angry at a times. Hahahaha...

I felt like when I'm with him all the time, I'm happy. I don't know about him coz he never did express to me how he felt. I know that sometimes he felt moody. I think he got not enough sleep.

Sometimes, I felt that I'm too much too, for pushing him and that I'm such a boring person. I did tried to cheer him up but I failed. I felt so disappointed at myself that I can't make him happy. I feel like I'm clapping with one hand. But neverthless, at last he was happy!!! Hehehehe... It really gave me a big smile at the end of the day. I don't want to say lots.. cuz I don't wanna think too much.. hahaha..I think he is tired cuz he never sleep well. Now, I'm feeling tired ad. Zzz.. Wanna get some sleep and rest my aching leg cuz tomorrow need to go to work.. =(

Thanks babey, for the weekend. It meant alot to me. Love ya. Muacks...

Tai Shen Tau!!!! Gong Xi! Gong Xi!!!!..Ang Pau Na Lai..

*Change Topic*

Chinese New Year is around the corner. I'm so busy preparing my decoration items to decorate my house. As usual, every year I'm always in-charge but it's ok, I love t beautif-ied my house with lots lots of red red deco. Hehehe..

There's no mood for new year like previous time. This year new year will be a little different. Lesser place to visit as in some of my relative not gonna celebrate because of "funeral". And my cusin who are crazy and a joker is not around because he further his studies in Australia and not coming back for this year Chinese New Year. Sigh..

Well, all my beloved friends and cousins who just recently got their jobs and I would like to congrats them. So, new year is a short time for me where I think I will hardly having fun like last time I used to have. I wish I can go back time where happiness, laughter and joyful season.

Moreover, my company is going to shift and yet I'm going to be really busy shifting things to my new office. Sigh.. What a year! I hope this year will bring me more luck in love, wealth and happiness.. Oh yeah.. I can't forget my health too..

Gong Xi! GOng Xi to everyone! Love ya.. DOn't forget to come my house for new year.. Come after the first day will do or night time! Jack D is waiting for you, here at my place. =P Don't forget Ang pau for me with lotsa money!! =P

Meee... The Stubborn, Fiona =P

I was with my galfriend last nite and she was talking about her new love. She was so happy that she found the person who know how to appreciate her and love her more than her ex. She broke up not long ago and she found her new love in like 3 months. When I heard of her story, I felt the "hit" in me. She was like trying to hint on me that I can also be like her if I'm willingly to let go. I felt that sometimes, but I didn't follow it. I don't want to regret. I know that I had a bad past and I believe that he will change as he promise me. I want to appreciate people around me. =)

I know those who knows me think that I'm stupid and stubborn. Maybe I'm too nice or too in love with him. But I can't help it. If I'm letting him go, that's the time when I think I had enough. I know I'm too patience but don't worry, everyone have their limit in them. I believe in my instinct and I believe people will change. Please... I hope everything is fine. No more "the past" because I'm scared I can't take it anymore and I will disappear before everyone knew it. (I'm not emo!)

I think some people must be thinking that I'm talking nonsense again or advice me this and that. This is my blog. I have the right to speak from my heart where I have noone to turn to. My blog don't talk, it's the place for me to write my heart out and also it listen to me without showing any expression.

Thank you for loving me people. Thank you for being there. It's not that I'm being ignorant. It's Meee.... Stubborn, Fiona.