My Bad Luck Happened Again~!

3 days in a row!!!!! wow.. My bad luck is getting worst. The first one was I lost my earrings, the second day was I saw you-know-who at a "mamak" stall and the 3rd day which is today... one of my car's tyre "pancit". And I have to pay RM150 for that damn tyre!! arghhh!!! I can buy 1 Adidas Shoes!!! sigh.. next month I have to pay my telephone bills! This month really not my month! I hope next month is a better luck! I better go "mandi" flower water... sigh...

Last night, went to rave party at A'Famosa! It was cool but the ending sucks! the DJ kinda screech the stupid "piring hitam" and showing off with his skills! Kinda not my type! haahahhaa...too much screeching.. Lots of leng cais and leng luis.. pheeweeett.. I went with my group of guy and girl friends and we seemed to look like "innocent" more although we did try our best to dress up.

Unfortunately, the party ended kinda early.. It supposed to end at least 3/4 am and the stupid local authorities "advices" to close at 1am. Boring`! But overall, it was fun! It was HUGEEEeee and a very good experience! Hope to go next year!

Such A Bad Day~! =(

Today is not my day~! Argggghhhhhh!!!! I was emo today, almost the whole day! I cried even I go out~! Pathetic~! Spoil my mood only! Went out with my chi muis tonight to catch a movie titled "The Prestige". It was kinda good but need to focus and udnerstand because it can be complicated once you don't understand it. We went back after the show and my bad luck keep coming in!.. I lost my favourite earring that I wore it earlier on to the cinema!! Arghhh!! How can God treat me like this? Unlucky things tends to show up even more. I have lost my beloved aunty that I love dearly, and I have lost my love life. And now I have lost my favourite things! boohooo~!~!.. I hate this year!!! Not my year!!

Fun

Last Sunday, I was having so much fun! I went to Pure Bar... it was suppose to be a short while meeting with some of my juniors. It was Jie Yi's birthday, and I didn't know that till someone told me. We danced, we drank and we laughed. That was like ages I haven't been clubbing. Got high... and end up I was there till 3a.m.!!! And the most greatest thing was, the next day I have to go to work. Hahahaha... But the end of the day, broke down because of the sad song that we sing! oh my god!! That is really bad... sigh.. But it was a relief either.

Thanks to everyone for making my day!!! muacks~!

Gossips

Last night, I attended my mum's side wedding dinner. I was kinda taken aback from the event. I wish I am married. hahaha... I wonder who is my husband-to-be. Maybe because I'm ready to settle down and shits happened unexpectedly. The day before, my relative keep asking me where is my bf. I told them I don't have one. It really "hit" my heart. They keep asking when can they meet him and when am I going to get marry. wow.... I didn't know they are much more eager than me. Sigh.. old citizens..

Anyway, after my dinner, (went off before the dinner ends) went to yam char with my juniors, precisely my brother and my lil' cousin's friends. (I felt so young! tehheee..) We were like updating... actually, the gals updated themselves with their friends. I was just listening and interfering only. Some of their friends I know them.. thank God! if not, I'm out of their world. It was kinda fun talking bout their friends.. This in another word called "Gossips" hahaha.. well, without gossiping, I don't think there's a better topic to talk about till the wee hour. hahaha... We gals intend to gossips alot because this is what we call "updating".When one of the gal asked is there anything new? I dare not to voice out about my "new status". Maybe, I just don't want them to said "again?!!" or maybe I don't wanna talk about it. It was a great feelings to be with in a group. hahaha... cheerz gals~!

Happiness

Today..I was kinda happy because, 1) get to meet a new friend and 2) my brother is back. After my dinner, my chi muis, her fren and my brother went to tribe to yam char. We met the other friends and we chit-chat the whole night. It was fun hanging out in a group! We even plans for the next weekend and I cant wait for it! Life have to move on~!Without them, I don't think I can stand till now and my emotional won't be control then. Thank you it won, sonia n my bro. Thank you lili who support me all the way from Aussie. hahaha... Thanks to all my fren who care for me and you know who you guys/gals are. Muacks.. Love ya alotz

..::Young Love::..

It is as natural for young people to fall in love as it is for flowers to bloom in spring.
And yet, the agonies of love are many and varied.
While everyone is free to fall in love or be attracted to someone, and no one has the right to meddle in your private affairs. I feel it is also important not to lose sight of pursuing your own personal development. There are of course no rules on love and marriage, and no one has the right to restrict you in any way. But I hate to see young people getting involved in frivolous relationships, and suffering and agonising over them when they should be fulfilled and happy.
My mentor in life, Mr. Toda, often said that when women act with dignity in relationship, problems can be avoided. Women, he said, should not have an easy-going, careless attitude concerning love, as this may lead to regrets and suffering.
While I am writing this with young women particularly in mind, much of what I am saying also applies to young men.
To me, love should be a force that helps us expand our lives and bring out our potential with fresh vitality. This is the ideal, but all too often, people lose all objectivity when they fall in love.
The question is "Does this person inspire you to work harder, or distract you from what you have to do? Does their presence make you more determined to devote great energies to your activities, to be a better person? Do they inspire you to realise your future goals and work towards them? Or is that person your ventral focus, overshadowing everything else?"
If you find that you are neglecting things you should be doing, forgetting your purpose in life because of the relationship you are in, then I would guess that you might be in the wrong path. A healthy relationship, in my view, is one in which two people encourage each other to reach their respective goals, while sharing each other's hopes and dreams. A relationship should be a source of inspiration, invigoration and hope.
Rather than becoming so love-struck that you create a world in which only the two of you exist, it is much healthier to learn from those aspects of your loved one that you respect and admire, and continue to make efforts to improve and develop youself. Antoine de Saint-Exupery, the author of "The Little Prince", once wrote, "Love is not two people gazing at each other, but two people looking ahead together in the same direction."
Of course, much of daily life tends to be ordinary and unexciting. Making steady efforts to improve ourselves can be trying. And then, when you fall in love, life seems filled with drama and excitement and you feel like the leading character in a book. But if you lose yourself in love just because you are bored, and veer from your path in life, then love is nothing more than escapism. But sadly many people believe that this kind of love is the be-all and end-all, eluding themselves that as long as they are in love, nothing else matters.
Even if you try to use love as an escape, the euphoria is unlikely to last for long. If anything, you may only find yourself with more problems along with a great deal of pain and sadness. However much you may try, you can never run away from yourself. If you remain weak inside, suffering will only follow you wherever you go. You will never find happiness if you do not change yourself from within, Happiness is not something that anyone else, even a lover, can give you. You have to achieve it by yourself. And, the only way to do so is by developing your character and capacity as a human being, by fully maximising your potetial. If you sacrifice your own growth and talent for love, you absolutely will not find happiness.
My concern in saying this is purely for the sake of young people - particularly young women who are often very vulnerable to persuasion by young men. They can sometimes act as if they are stunned and lose their ability to make calm, rational decisions. Since young women are the one who most often get hurt, they have every right to assert their dignity and look after their own welfare.
It is precisely for this reason that I feel it is important for young women to develop inner strength and self-respect.
It is demeanig to be constantly seeking approval. If you find yourself in a relationship where you are not treated the way your heart tells you should be, I hope you will have the courage and dignity to decide that you are better off running the risk of being alone for the time being rahter than enduring an unhappy relationship.
Real love is not two people clinging to each other; it can only be fostered between two strong people secure in their individuality. A shallow person will only have shallow relationships. If you wan to experience real love, it is important first to develop a strong self-identity. True love is not about doing whatever the other person wants you to do, or pretending that you are something tou are not. Ideal love is fostered only between two sincere, mature and independent people.


" If you sacrifice your own growth and talent for love, you absolutely will not find happiness"


Author : Daisaku Ikeda from "A Piece of Mirror "

End of Misery...

After I had cried so hard, I have decided to move on and let everything goes. I know it take steps by steps to move on. There will be a time when I will talk about our time together, there's a time I will think of him and miss him but I will not let myself down (maybe down a lil' la...). I can't just being sad n depress all the time, he don't even know what I have been going through. I know that when I'm sad , my friends will be sad too. When he want to come back, he will know how to come to me then only I will decide what to do with him. Hopefully, by that time I'm move on and have someone that I can care for and to be loved. So, Mr, RIght out there.. you know what u have to do.. hehehe.. =P

Heart-Broken...

I had tried to make myself strong so that I can move on easily. There's many ways I tried, I tried hating him, tried to make myself busy and tried not to think of him but I failed. In the end, I still love him. I cant make myself busy everyday. Going out everyday won't work on me. My parents will worry about me and there's time that I will think of him and it really effects me. It hurts to see that we are not together anymore.
What did I do wrong to deserve this? I had always tried my best to change to make him happy. Why?!?!? Almost everyday I cried. He really break my heart. How can I fall for a heartless person? I thought he was a caring person, loving person, protective person and also a sensitive guy. But after all this, I think I was wrong. The sensitivity of him is gone.
I am in pain now............

Feelings...

I never knew that I would loved a man for the past 6 years. It's hard to let him go but I have to be strong since he ain't want our loves, my loves. It's selfish of him to just end it without compromising it. I never even get an explaination, the truth about the whole break-up thing. Even I am so badly wanted to hear his voice, and talk to him, but I dare not hear what he had to say because i know that his words will hurt me deeply.

I had done my best in our relationship. Forgiving him of what he had done to me in the past, sacrifices, putting a side my principals and prides. This is because I love him very much. I do hate him at a time but my love towards him is much more stronger. I intends to keep forgiving him for his mistakes.

Time flies very fast. I thought that we can settle down but I was wrong. He don't seem to understand me more. Sometimes he is selfish because he intends to think of himself, his satisfaction and his happiness. I do admit that part of this break-up is my fault. I always blame on myself because i intend to be stubborn but he should understand me well because he chose me of who I am. Moreover, humans make mistakes. If I can accept his flawless, why can't he accept mine?

At least, when our relationship end, i did change him to be a better person than the person I first met. I'm glad that I changed him and I hope he knows about it. I am also glad that he and his sister now is in talking term. At least this few things that I had done my part as a girlfriend.

Conclusion now is I have to move on no matter what. When the time comes, I will know the reasons (I think). During the break-up session, I am in dilemma. I am in such a bad-shape, hardly sleep for a week and hardly eat as well. I was feeling like I'm going to die without him.

But now i had learnt to live without him because he don't appreciate me the most. If he cant compromise things out, this shows that he is immature. He is not capable to handle problems himself. He is only capable of avoiding problems. I hope that he change to be a better person and I know his family especially his mum is worrying about him.

Deep in my heart, he is there because he is my first love and my love towards him is still there till I am move on but I will always open my heart to the others. =Goodbye KLF=